My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
