Nicole vs. Life
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
farters have to be the big spoon...
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
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