she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
the gays at disneyland are vicious
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
