i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
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