Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
