I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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