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I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Randomize
