Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I just cut my nipple shaving
I am full of burrito and curiosity
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
