had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
you had me at cake vodka
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
