My nipple is on Facebook.
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
