I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
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