I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
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