Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
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