Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
