Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
