Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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