I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Randomize
