Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
