hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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