Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Randomize
