I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
the condom got lost in my hair
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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