just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
