mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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