Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Randomize
