chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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