I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
