you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
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