i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
