Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
