in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Randomize
