One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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