so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
no more duck duck goose at the bar
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
