just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
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