i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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