we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
