whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
