when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
We are all done wearing pants today
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
