We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Randomize
