Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
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