i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
