community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Randomize
