I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Randomize
