Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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