Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I got inside last night via doggy door
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
