You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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