During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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