Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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