she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Randomize
