no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
and she was petting her beer can
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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