I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Randomize
