were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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